By Mary Bach
As we age, we sometimes become a bit more introspective. I find that to be true, as I realize that there are fewer years ahead of me than behind. My reality is that I am 81 years old, although many people say that age is just a number—in my case, a big number that I hope will actually grow larger in the years to come. The older I become, the older I want to get. I occasionally think that it is weird being the same age as “old” people.
Interacting with those I meet, I often cannot tell how old someone is, as I am a terrible judge of age in others. I talk with lots of people in my various activities, and recently I was conversing with a casual acquaintance whom I thought was only a few years younger than I am. We were discussing some current scams that are touching all of our lives. She commented that she was terrified about her parents being victimized, as her mother is 80 and her father, 82. It gave me pause, as I thought she easily must be in her seventies. Instead, she is probably in her fifties, like my daughter.
A sad part about getting older is that no one can see you’re still young on the inside. I wonder, as I walk past a mirror, who that woman is, because my actual reflection doesn’t represent how I really feel and perceive myself. When someone I haven’t seen in quite a while says, “Mary, you haven’t changed a bit!”—which they mean as a compliment—I usually respond in a lighthearted way: “Maybe you need to have your eyes checked!” We often see and think of ourselves very differently than others do.
When it comes to aging and many other issues in our lives, we need to embrace the wise truism that one should not obsess over what we cannot control. Live each day trying to make the best of every situation. There are many other thoughts and sayings that would help us if we would take them to heart and put them into practice, as we take one day at a time:
- We need to embrace our age, as each year is special and precious. We only live it once and we need to be comfortable with it.
- Don’t believe in thinking old. Don’t let a number (your age) become your identity. Embrace the future.
- You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to “be” old. It is “how” you are old that counts.
- The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
- Mind-lifts are more important than facelifts.
- A lot of people simply need someone to be kind to them today.
- In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.
• Living a long life appeals to many, but the idea of getting old appeals to no one.
• As Mark Twain said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
• Remember, you will never be at this age again, so do what brings you joy and makes you happy.
Mary Bach is an independent consumer advocate and Chair of the AARP Consumer Issues Task Force. She can be reached at mbadvocate@msn.com or (724) 327-6969.